Secret Backdoors to the Ivy League

A secret we learned from a college admissions counselor who charges tens of thousands of dollars is that you should always try to apply to the less popular majors, so you have less competition. Everyone wants to go to Wharten for finance, so apply to Penn for art, and you will have a higher chance of getting in. Our Ivy League Moms Club also have reported the following secret backdoors into Penn:

Penn Liberal and Professional Studies (LPS)—Lower admission standards but you graduate with a Bachelor’s degree from Penn

Philadelphia Academy of Fine Arts (PAFA) combination degree with Penn —If your child is into fine arts, then the PAFA/Upenn joint degree is perfect. PAFA is a top fine arts college and you go there for three years and apply to Penn to complete your Bachelor of Fine Arts (BFA) degree at Upenn. Acceptance into Penn is not guaranteed (they have criteria you need to meet), but it is a way in if you want to major in art. What can you do with a BFA? Lots of careers: Curator of a museum, garllerist, architect, designer, animator, etc.

The Columbia School of General Studies—for students who have been out of school for a year or so, who would like to go back to school

Columbia University School of General Studies (GS) is the only college of its kind created to meet the needs of returning and nontraditional students seeking a rigorous, traditional, Ivy League undergraduate degree full or part time.

When you join us, you’ll become a fully integrated member of the global Columbia undergraduate community and learn from world-renowned faculty. You’ll be guided by dedicated academic advisors experienced in supporting nontraditional students and have access to extensive research-backed support programs.
Columbia School of General Studies website

The Yale University Whitney Program

The Yale Admissions website states:

Students are eligible to apply to the Eli Whitney Students Program if they do not already hold bachelor’s degrees and:

they have taken at least a five-year break from their education at some point in their educational careers
Or they will have been out of high school for five or more years by the time of their proposed Yale matriculation.

The Harvard Extension School

You can get a certificate at Harvard by taking courses, and then stacking the certificate into a degree if you take enough courses.

How to Write a Great College Essay

“If you can’t do it with feeling, don’t.”
Patsy Cline

Before you write a word, close your eyes, take a deep breath and think about what you are passionate about. Be honest. What would you do if you had all the money in the world and didn’t have to worry about making a living when you graduate? What makes you happy? Then, think about what can you contribute to society with what you are passionate about. Write things down and start your outline. The essay does not have to be perfect at first. Just write it down.

The colleges want to know how you can contribute to make the world a better place. They want to see signs of future leadership. However, don’t just make a list of your accomplishments and use that as your essay.

The college essay is your chance to shine, to stand out amongst all the other stellar grades and perfect SAT scores. Here is where you need to reveal something about yourself. You want to evoke emotion: include details that will make them laugh or cry. The admissions officers want to feel emotions, to know who you really are, so don’t be afraid to be vulnerable. It’s better to show that you are human with faults than to be another perfect applicant, which the colleges get in droves. Many students with perfect scores and grades get rejected. Tell them your parents are divorcing, or your mom is sick, you need to work to help the family or other circumstances that might have affected your grades, but yet you did so well anyway. Admit something embarrassing if it will make you be memorable. The admissions officers want to know who you are, so that they can make a right match for the school. Think of it as matchmaking for your significant other: you will be spending the next four years of your life in this college, so the admissions officers need to know that it will be a good fit.

You can write about anything you want when trying to follow the writing prompt! Don’t feel the need to sound professional or perfect. One student, Carolina Williams from Tennessee, even wrote about her love for Papa John’s pizza and how ordering it made her feel safe and grownup and got into Yale. Unfortunately, she did not choose to attend Yale, but instead chose Auburn University instead. Which begs the question: why? If an Ivy were to admit you, and there is only an admission rate of 5 percent or less, why would you choose to attend another university? Most of the time, the reason is probably financial. For ways to afford an Ivy League education, go to the chapter: How to Afford an Ivy League Education (coming soon).

Of course, there are some exceptions, like if your dad wrote a large check to support the school, but for the rest of us, the essay is very important. The dirty secret, according to high school students I interviewed, everyone has some help with their essays. Even those who cannot afford to hire a college coach will probably get some help, even if it is from a friend or teacher. You need to be personal, pour your heart into drafting your essay, and send it to everyone you know to proofread. When you pour your heart out on paper, when you really put all your energy into your writing, the reader can feel the electricity. And that, is the key to writing a great college essay.

Sports for Future Ivy Leaguers

What sports should a potential Ivy Leaguer pursue to gain admission into the Ivy League? The Ivy League is a collegiate athletic conference consisting of eight private universities in the Northeast United States. The term Ivy League became official after the formation of the National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA) Division I athletic conference in 1954. There are sixteen men’s and sixteen women’s sports in the Ivy League championships:

Women’s Ivy League Sports

Basketball
Cross-country
Fencing
Field Hockey
Golf
Ice hockey
Lacrosse
Rowing
Soccer
Softball
Squash
Swimming and diving
Tennis
Track and field (indoor)
Track and field (outdoor)
Volleyball

Men’s Ivy League Sports

Baseball
Basketball
Cross-country
Fencing
Football
Golf
Ice hockey
Lacrosse
Rowing
Soccer
Squash
Swimming and diving
Tennis
Track and field (indoor)
Track and field (outdoor)
Wrestling

If you are a parent of a small child, and you were to choose a sport for the main purpose of getting your child into an Ivy, which sport should you choose? Well, the experts would tell you to choose a sport that your child would enjoy first. However, the word on the street is that squash and rowing would make your child stand out. However, if you want to give your child a leg up on networking in the business world, perhaps golf and tennis would be good choices, as those are sports that executives play at the country club.

Working from Home Chairs

This is our third year working from home, and for those of us without standup desks, the kitchen counter is a great solution to be able to stand up to work while being able to sit down. What chairs work for sitting comfortably at the kitchen counter? Search the chairs below:

Why is Getting a Child Admitted to the Ivy League so Important to Some Parents?

Hint: Money- It is Like Winning the Lottery

Why am I passionate about my child attending an Ivy League college? Because I have seen the access, privileges and things that Ivy Leaguers can get. And as a parent, it is my job to get the best for my child. The Ivy League is a private club that few can get in, but once you are in, you can have access to better jobs, make more money, network with a certain group of people (other Ivy Leaguers who have gotten these benefits and are now powerful), get wined and dined by companies just looking to recruit Ivy League students. One reader sent in this story:

When I was a law student, I got into a program that assigned me to a prestigious internship with a federal judge. I personally did not attend a top law school, but the judge assigned to me was an alumnus of Ivy League schools and only hired clerks who attended prestigious schools. This is the case with most Federal judges; they all want the best. I was lucky that I was part of the program, so I was vouched by the program organizers. While in chambers, I was able to see that these Ivy League clerks had it all: federal clerkships, large bonuses as a result of the clerkship in the guaranteed jobs in large law firms eager to hire them. I did not have access to any of these perks because I was not part of the club. The other interns chosen by the judge who attended top law schools talked about the wining and dining by law firms. They attended several recruiting events a month. It is really a different world for Ivy Leaguers.
Lower-Tier Law Mom

Connections-Friendship and Beyond

Ivy Leaguers wish to connect with other elite graduates like themselves. It’s like a private club.

Jobs

Ivy Leaguers get the best jobs. Just look on LinkedIn and you will see that more often than not, the top financial, law and consulting firms employ Ivy League graduates.

Prestige

People love to brag about having graduated from an Ivy League university. It raises the esteem of a person to have been part of a prestigious college, and it opens doors.

Most Importantly: Money- It is Like Winning the Lottery

According to The Years that Matter Most: How College Makes or Breaks Us, by Paul Tough, using research by Raj Chetty, the famous Harvard economist who utilized tax returns and college data, students who attend Ivy League and other elite colleges become very wealthy as adults. Ivy League plus graduates (of Ivy League schools plus Stanford, MIT, Duke and the University of Chicago) have a 1-in-5 chance of achieving the 1% by their mid-30s, making more than $630,000; at other elite schools, the chances are 1-in-11; at community colleges, the odds are only 1-in-300. Imagine being in the 1% by your mid-thirties! The Ivy League gives a student the confidence and motivation to become richer than they could ever imagine. This is what people dream of.

Want to make six-figures right out of college?

Attend these schools and major in the following, and you can make $100,000+ right out of college:

MIT—Economics, Computer Science, Mathematics, Electrical, Electronics and Communications Engineering

University of Pennsylvania—Nursing, computer science, Financial Management, Systems Engineering

Stanford University–Computer Science

Princeton University– Computer Science, Economics

Dartmouth– Computer Science, Economics

Cornell—Computer Science

Columbia- Computer Science

Yale—Computer and information Sciences

Harvard- Computer Science, Statistics

Source: U.S. Department of Education, Collegescorecard.ed.gov

Money Recruits Ivy League

True story: a mom friend who is a lawyer once volunteered at the local bar association and offered to mentor some students. She took two students from Columbia law school to lunch. It was no slice of pizza or a sandwich either, it was a hot pot all you can eat in Chinatown for $39 a person that the students said they wanted to go to. The Columbia students did not even thank her for lunch, no email, no text, nothing. The next time she saw them at the bar association, one of them looked at her awkwardly as he walked in late for his internship meeting at the association. Turns out the Columbia Law students are used to being wined and dined by firms eager to recruit them for jobs. They said that they get invited to receptions on a weekly basis, so they thought that the mom got money from the bar association to take them to lunch, even though she paid with her own money.

Why do Firms Recruit at Ivy Leagues Schools

Firms recruit from Ivy League schools because everyone wants the best, and since these schools were selective already, the perception is that the selection has been done for them. The top jobs at big firms most often go to the graduates of Ivy League and other elite schools. This also raises the prestige of the firm, so that the firm can sell to the client that so many graduates of elite firms will be handling the work.

Ivy League Graduates are on the Forbes list of Billionaires.

Seventy-one of the Forbes 400 billionaires for 2021 went to seven Ivy League schools: Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Cornell, Columbia, Dartmouth and UPenn. Not surprisingly, Harvard is at the top of the list, which contributed more alumni on The Forbes 400 than any other university — with 15. This excludes Harvard’s infamous dropouts: Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg. Fourteen graduates of The University of Pennsylvania were in the Forbes 400 in 2020. Yale and Stanford tied for top three with 12 graduates each.

The 2021 Forbes 400 List of the Richest Americans: 12 Colleges with the Most Undergraduate Alumni

#1 Harvard University

Forbes 400 members: 15

#2 University of Pennsylvania

Forbes 400 members: 14

#3 (tie) Stanford University

Forbes 400 Members: 12

#3 (tie) Yale University

Forbes 400 Members: 12

#5 University of Southern California

Forbes 400 Members: 10

#6 Cornell University

Forbes 400 Members: 9

#7 Princeton University

Forbes 400 members: 8

#8 (tie) University of Michigan

Forbes 400 members: 7

#8 (tie) Columbia University

Forbes 400 members: 7

#10 University of California, Berkeley

Forbes 400 members: 6

#10 (tie) Dartmouth College

Forbes 400 members: 6

# 10 (tie) Duke University

Forbes 400 members 6

Ivy Leaguers Make Bank

The most highly paid jobs in the United States come from the following firms:

Technology

Financial

Consulting

Law firms

These firms recruit from Ivy League and other elite colleges more often than from other colleges. Then, there are the fintech companies, often started by Ivy League and Ivy Plus students, such as Stripe ($95 billion valuation, founded by Harvard and MIT students, processes credit cards for small businesses and large companies such as Zoom and Microsoft) and Robinhood ($11.1 billion valuation, started by Stanford student, more than 13 million users buy commission-free stocks, ETFs, options and cryptocurrencies on the app).

Ways to Get Rich

Here are some ways people get rich in the Ivy League

Job at a top firm

If you look on LinkedIn, you will see the school of each person’s account and the company where they work. More often than not, the most prestigious companies have the most number of Ivy Leaguers. There are at least four different types of companies where you can make lots of money right out of school: technology, finance, consulting and law firms. These companies concentrate their recruiting at Ivy League universities most often. Therefore, if you just get a job at a top firm, make the high salaries, save your money, max out the 401k and other retirement plans, you will do very well.

Start their own companies

Did you know Warby Parker was started by UPenn graduates? The Ivy League is full people who have started innovative technology companies. According to Forbes, in an analysis of 13,000 startup founders, Pitchbook added first-round funding between 2006 and the end of August 2019 by the startup founder’s university, 9 out of the 10 top schools for venture capital (VC) came from the United States’ Silicon Valley and Ivy League universities. The colleges that boasted the most VC-backed startups are Stanford, UC Berkeley, MIT, Harvard, University of Michigan, Tel Aviv, University of Texas and University of Illinois. Stanford produced such companies as DoorDash and Snapchat. Between 2012 and 2017, the following universities produced students with the most successful patent applications (indicator of innovation): Stanford, MIT, Harvard, University of Pennsylvania, University of Washington, UNC Chapel Hill, KU Leuven (Belgium), University of Southern California, Cornell and Imperial College London (UK).

Network with classmates and alum

Ivy Leaguers tend to trust other Ivy Leaguers, so they are more interested in networking with their fellow classmates and alumni. When you are looking to start a company, or are seeking a job, you are more likely to be successful when reaching out to former classmates in the network. Some places to network include LinkedIn and the Ivy Clubs, as well as alumni associations. Money circulates amongst the rich with relationships and connections.

Marry a rich classmate

According to Forbes, the most number of billionaires come from the Ivy League, many of whom inherited family money. Inheritance and marriage remain the top way that people become wealthy, and there is a large concentration of single wealthy individuals at Ivy League universities. See next chapter for the full details.

How to Get Rich by Attending an Ivy League University

Here are some ways people get rich by going to an Ivy League college:

Job at a Top Firm

If you look on Linkedin, you will see the school of each person’s account and the company where they work. More often than not, the most prestigious companies have the most number of Ivy Leaguers. There are at least four different types of companies where you can make lots of money right out of school: technology, finance, consulting and law firms. These companies concentrate their recruiting at Ivy League universities most often. Therefore, if you just get a job at a top firm, make the high salaries, save your money, max out the 401k and other retirement plans, you will do very well.

2. Start their own Companies

3. Network with Classmates and Alum

4. Marry a Rich Classmate

How to Get Your MRS Degree in College

How to Get Into Stuyvesant High School

Mom Who Attended Stuyvesant Shares How Her Kid Also Passed the SHSAT:

Stuyvesant High School is a top feeder school to Harvard. In fact, according to The Harvard Crimson, one out of every twenty Harvard freshmen attended one of the following seven high schools most represented in the class of 2017: Boston Latin, Phillips Academy in Andover, Stuyvesant High School, Noble and Greenough School, Phillips Exeter Academy, Trinity School in New York City, and Lexington High School. If you are thinking of attending Stuyvesant High School, you probably live in or are thinking of moving to New York City. The two schools that are Harvard feeder schools that are located in New York are Trinity School and Stuyvesant. Trinity costs around $60,000 per year and Stuyvesant is free. Yes, Trinity is wonderful if you can afford it, but there is something to be said for a free education. Plus, Stuyvesant is an entire building of top-notch learning: an entire floor dedicated to math, another floor dedicated to biology, and an Olympic-sized pool.

Stuyvesant High School made public the students from 2016-2019 of the number of kids who attended the Ivy+ schools (Ivies, UChicago, Stanford, MIT) for 2016 to 2019:

Cornell – 193
UChicago – 100
MIT – 42
Harvard – 41
Yale – 35
Princeton – 34
Columbia – 16
Penn between 15 to 23
Brown between 9 to 21
Dartmouth between 8 to 16
Stanford between 3 to 15

Total 496 to 536 for four years

That’s 124 to 134 per year

About 842 seniors in Class of 2019

So 14.7% to 15.9% each year to Ivy+ (source https://tophscollege.blogspot.com)

However, the numbers above are pretty darn good for a free public school education!

Now compare Phillips Academy in Andover (2017 to 2020)…

UChicago – 55

Harvard – 48

Yale – 43

Cornell – 36

Penn – 34

Columbia – 32

MIT – 30

Brown – 29

Stanford – 27

Princeton – 26

Dartmouth – 19

Total 379 for four years

That’s about 94.75 per year

About 294 seniors in Class of 2020

So about 32.2% each year go to Ivy+(source https://tophscollege.blogspot.com)

I am especially qualified to teach you how to get into Stuyvesant because not only did I graduate from Stuy, my child also scored high enough on the Specialized High School Admissions Test (SHSAT) to get in there. To attend Stuyvesant and other specialized high schools in New York City, you have to pass the SHSAT. If you are a parent who has dreams of your child attending Stuyvesant someday, then start with workbooks that you can order from Amazon for math and English. Teach your child to read by age 3 with Hooked on Phonics. Yes, three-year-olds can learn to read if you just sit there with them and teach them.

Also, Sudoku puzzles are excellent for training the brain. At least two years before the test, send your child to group tutoring classes such as Kaplan, and if economically feasible, hire private tutors. However, if money is an issue, then just order some SHSAT workbooks and have your child do the problems in the book. Active learning (doing problems and looking up the answers) is key. There are also Official SHSAT Handbooks with the real tests, which you can also have your child practice as if she were taking the actual exam. The goal is to have thousands of questions answered under your belt so the answers pop out at you during the test. Yes, your brain works in mysterious ways when you train it right.

Also, visit Stuyvesant and have your child see what is possible. Let your child imagine swimming in the beautiful Olympic pool. Manifest your destiny, work hard, and you will attend the school of your choice.

Since Stuyvesant has the highest cut-off score of all the specialized high schools, consider Staten Island Technical High School, Bronx High School of Sciences or Brooklyn Technical High School. The aforementioned schools are also top schools in boroughs other than Manhattan, and although not necessarily feeder schools to the Ivy League, send plenty of students to the Ivies. Rest assured that your child will get a great education for the bargain price of free. This allows you to save money for other things, such as tutoring, summer programs, extra-curricular activities, college tuition, etc.

When I studied for the SHSAT many decades ago, I did not use a tutor. However, nowadays, almost everyone hires tutors, so you don’t want to miss out. I found Kenny Tan on Wyzant, and contacted him immediately. Kenny tutored my daughter for the SHSAT and as a result, she scored high enough on the SHSAT to gain admission to Stuyvesant High School. My daughter became so good at math that she started to tutor students younger than her for one of her extra-curricular activities. She also achieved an almost perfect score on the SAT. I am happy to report that my kid was accepted into an Ivy League university recently.

I had the opportunity to speak to Kenny Tan recently and asked him what made his method so effective?

I am different from many tutors because I encourage students to use answer explanations to study their mistakes before each lesson. During the lesson, I check for complete understanding by asking students to explain why the answer choice they chose was incorrect and why a different answer choice was actually the correct answer. I then bridge any gaps in understanding that we identify. I believe that students haven’t mastered a concept unless they can teach it correctly themselves. Students who self-prep or enroll in a group class are rarely given such a challenge. Therefore, the real value of a tutor is in ensuring students have correctly understood each concept before moving on to the next one.
Kenny Tan, tutor

Some of my favorite tips from Kenny about how to do well on the SHSAT:

Use High Quality Material– You can find all authentic SHSAT tests here. See the latest SHSAT test below, but be sure to save it for testing under real simulation: timed, in a classroom setting, after your student has sufficiently prepared.

Ivyleague.mom_.shsat2023 Download

2. Be Relentless in Learning from Your Mistakes. Yes, I agree with Kenny, and mistakes are necessary for you to learn. It was helpful to have Kenny explain what my daughter did wrong in a tutoring session and for her to learn from her mistakes.

Anyone interested in tutoring can schedule a consultation with Kenny Tan using this link.

Also, check out Kenny’s website which contains a wealth of information on the SHSAT.

What if your child does not score high enough to get into any of the specialized high schools? Consider moving to Great Neck, NY, with the #2 top school district in New York. Students in Great Neck South High School receive a stellar education and get admitted to Ivy League universities. Here is a renovated 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom apartment for sale in the Great Neck South school district. See it before it gets sold!

Would you like more information about how to get into Stuyvesant High School? Subscribe to the Ivy League Mom newsletter for top tips:

*How to score high enough on the SHSAT to get into Stuyvesant High School, Staten Island Technical High School, Brooklyn Technical High School and the Bronx High School of Science.

*Which school should you select on the SHSAT form for the best chance of getting into a specialized high school?

*Is Stuyvesant High School always the best option?

*The best way to prep for the SHSAT.

*Questions and answers for top scores.

For all of the above and more, subscribe to the newsletter below.

When to Visit Colleges

To manifest your child’s destiny, visit colleges as soon as you can. Manifestation is to bring something you want into your life through attraction and belief: what you think will happen will happen. I do not mean visiting colleges in the senior year of high school. I mean when your kid is around eight years old, start exposing the child to what colleges he can aspire to. Go on vacation to Connecticut and visit Yale; Madison Beach Hotel is close by and very relaxing (you can stay there for free with your Hilton weekend certificates; otherwise the hotel is quite pricey). Right now, if you apply for the Hilton Amex card, you can get 60,000 bonus points and a free weekend night certificate. Go to Boston on vacation and visit Harvard and MIT. While visiting the Liberty Bell in Philadelphia, stop off at University of Pennsylvania. Show your kid what he can achieve with good grades. The Secret teaches us that we achieve what we set our minds to do. Therefore, we must show our kids what to focus on.

Showing your child a prestigious college unleashes the power of manifesting. When my child was seven, we started visiting colleges. Of course, we started with the best: Harvard. Boston in the summer is gorgeous, and we toured Harvard with the rest of the tourists, some also had their young children in tow. Another great tourist attraction in Boston is the plentiful lobsters and we had a great time there. I still recall the delicious twin lobsters in the beautiful outdoor restaurant near the water. The more you expose a child to the places you want her to go, the more it becomes familiar, and eventually it will be a goal within reach. A child who has seen what is possible will work harder to get good grades, score well on standardized tests, participate in extra-curricular activities, whatever it takes to get into an elite school.

Maine Lobster & Seafood Delivered Nationwide

Around the time of end of junior year of high school, you might consider visiting colleges you would like to apply to for demonstrating interest. College admissions officers sometimes like to see demonstrated interest by prospective students before they make the decision to admit a student because they want to know the student will accept. Because universities seek to improve their yield – or raise the number of students who accept admission offers – they look for demonstrated interest. Further, some admissions officers have said that they would view it as a lack of interest on the student’s part if they lived close by and didn’t ever visit. It would be wise to visit a college so you can see where you will be taking classes and the surrounding neighborhood. Finally, visiting colleges can allow you to write a better and personalized “why us” essay, which is what colleges are looking for.

The Ivy League is Not a Dream!

newly graduated people wearing black academy gowns throwing hats up in the air

The Ivy League is Not a Dream

Get Admitted to Top Universities and Get Rich!

IvyLeague.mom

The Ivy League is not a dream! So many parents and kids have dreams of getting admitted into a top university. My kid was just admitted into an Ivy League college, and I am sharing my story for any parent to be able to do the same: help your child to get into the best schools and get excellent test scores. In intermediate school, my kid scored high enough on the Specialized High School Achievement Test (SHSAT) to get into Stuyvesant High School and then got a near-perfect score on the SAT. Tutoring and hard work had a lot to do with it. The number one thing to remember is not to force your child to do anything. I was ecstatic when my daughter Angelica scored high enough on the state exam to be allowed to take the Hunter College High School exam. However, she did not want to go to that school, so she quit the tutoring that I sent her to. I did not force it, and was surprised when she wanted to take the exam anyway. She did not do well on the essay, because her heart was not in it. Then when it came time for the SHSAT for high school, my child was used to the format of the test, because most standardized tests are pretty much similar. What if you do not live in New York City? Consider moving to a neighborhood with excellent public schools. Great Neck South High School is one of the most highly rated schools in New York and they even have a golf team!

I am personally a proponent of public schools, because I was not born with a silver spoon in my mouth, and public schools are great if your child gets into the honors and specialized programs. I just watched a documentary on HBOMAX about Avenues, a private school that costs $40,000+ a year that is next to a housing project in Chelsea, and according to the Avenues website, only about 33 students out of 300 got into the Ivy League. I will have to do more analysis to see if it produces many more Ivy Leaguers than public high schools in New York. I did hear, however, that many of the prep schools in New York are feeder schools to the Ivy League and send about 30% of graduates to the Ivies each year. So, by that estimate, 30% of 300 should be 90 students, and compared to prep schools, Avenues is not getting as many of their students admitted to the Ivy League. This is only assuming that the end goal for sending a kid to a private school is to get the kid into an Ivy League college. Send your child to private schools if your budget allows for it, but I was saving my money for tutoring and college.

The following are some tips on how I was able to help my child score so well on exams thus allowing me to become an Ivy League Mom!

Visit colleges as soon as you can. I do not mean visits in senior year of high school. I mean when your kid is around eight years old, start exposing the child to what colleges he can aspire to. Go on vacation to Connecticut and visit Yale; Madison Beach Hotel is close by and very relaxing (you can stay there for free with your Hilton weekend certificates, otherwise the hotel is quite pricey). Right now, if you apply for the Hilton Amex card, you can get 60,000 bonus points and a free weekend night certificate. Go to Boston on vacation and visit Harvard and MIT. While visiting the Liberty Bell in Philadelphia, stop off at University of Pennsylvania. Show your kid what he can achieve with good grades. The Secret teaches us that we achieve what we set our minds to do. Therefore, we must show our kids what to focus on.

Pay for tutoring and start early, around the time of standardized tests for high school. In New York City, the big ones are the Hunter College High School Entrance Exam and the SHSAT. I brought my kid to Kaplan in Manhattan for SHSAT tutoring two years before the test. Then when the course was over, I paid for private tutoring by the teacher of the class. As a result of all the extra help in math, my daughter Angelica was able to well and is a math tutor for disadvantaged kids as an extracurricular activity. For the SAT, Angelica received tutoring in both English and math. She scored 1570 on her second try (the first try did not result in a high enough score). The need for tutoring has been confirmed by a Harvard dad: he and his son both attended Harvard, so he must know something we don’t. I asked him what was his secret. He said, “Spend the money on tutoring.” There you have it, ladies (and gentlemen, in case there are some dad readers snooping around here). Spend your money on tutoring.

What about college admissions consultants? If you can afford it, it will definitely take some stress off of the application process. The consultant will hold the college applicant’s hand throughout the process, with virtual consultations, essay writing help, advice on majors (the advice that was worth the money was to go for the less popular majors so there would be less competition), and generally being there during this stressful time. During the college application ordeal, it is very important to take care of yourself: exercise, eat right and get wellness treatments and massages.

For those parents with younger children:

As soon as you can, when your kid is around age three, get Hooked on Phonics and start teaching your kid to read. It does not take long. Just sit with your child a few minutes a day and soon he or she will be able to read. Yes, a three year old can read! When our three-year-old was sitting in the back of the car in her car seat and voiced the name of a restaurant, we could not believe it. After your kid starts to read, a whole new world will open up and your child will be years ahead of all the others.

Get your first month of Hooked on Phonics for just $1

Another thing to do as soon as possible is to order workbooks. Reading, math, grammar, spelling, vocabulary (root words) for your child’s grade and perhaps a few grades above that. You want to get a head start. Make it a game and give prizes and incentives for completing workbooks. Much cheaper than the thousands of dollars at Kumon and other learning centers. They sell Kumon workbooks on Amazon.

Kumon Workbooks

Train your kid’s brain with Sodoku puzzles. Get a baby Sodoku book on Amazon and start teaching your kid how to think logically. You are training the young brain for all the years of testing ahead, especially any tests with logic.

Of course, do not just focus on academics. Your child needs some fun. Put a tennis racquet or a golf club in your child’s hand and a decade later, she can wind up captain of the tennis team.

You might say, so much money and work to do all of the above. But as parents, we must sacrifice for our kids. You can save money by buying workbooks on Amazon instead of sending the kids to Kumon. You can apply for credit cards and stay in hotels for free with the points and free night certificates. Our reward is the bragging rights when our kids achieve great things. Who knows? You can probably use your child’s admission into the Ivy League for your own networking. After all, parents of Ivy League students and alum are allowed to join clubs in the city such as the Harvard Club, Yale Club, Cornell Club, etc. Also, some parents have been known to use their kids’ school connections to help with their own businesses, such as a realtor who used her kids’ private school parent list to sell real estate. There are no guarantees in life, but you reap what you sow.

Working Out from Home

What are your New Year Resolutions?

Working from home, it is harder to get exercise. I have had excellent results from the Brazilian Butt Lift workout from Beachbody on Demand. The beachy scenes make me think of the vacations I took when I was able to travel.

Beachbody On Demand 14 Day Free Trail!

I’ve had a few days with my Peloton tread and it is definitely more entertaining than a normal treadmill. I had a Taiwan walk and the screen showed beautiful footage of a mountain in Taiwan. It made the time go by faster, that’s for sure. I also walked with Jess King aka Allegra on Just Like That, Sex and the City. She is one tough trainer! No wonder Big had a heart attack (but is still alive)! Then, to add to my steps, I did a few minutes of the sad walk, where the trainer says things like, “It’s ok to be sad.” Not only was he depressing, he wanted me to go faster. I couldn’t do it, my heart was too heavy. I’ll try the salty walk next time.

You reach the Buddha at the end of the Taiwan walk on Peloton

You are Graduating College without your MRS— Now What?

Advice for our daughters:

You did everything right: joined clubs where the men were, wore your nice Lululemons around campus, was friendly to everyone, Instagrammed photos of yourself baking and summering in the Hamptons, yet you are still single. Sure, for awhile, you thought the guy you were dating was the one, but he dumped you last week, saying he was going home to California and did not invite you to go with him. Men. Now what? Never panic, here are some solutions.

1. Remember, you are only 21

Plenty of time to still hunt for a husband. Yes, at this point, even though time is on your side, you need to continue the search.

2. Join clubs

Out of school, there are fewer opportunities for you to join clubs, but perhaps you can join a racquet club, outdoor adventure group or the gym. If a guy tells you he’s only looking at you on the leg machine to see how the machine is being used, he’s hitting on you. Flirt back and try to get him to get your number.

3. Join some dating sites for serous relationships.

Nowadays, most people meet online. We can imagine that during Covid, you are not in a flirtatious mood wearing that mask around town. At least online, you get to show photos of yourself, sans mask. If a guy asks you what you are looking for, be honest and say marriage. Don’t waste time with lies. Click here to meet some elite singles!

4. Friends

If you had been following this blog, you would have read the The Social Climber’s Bible: A Book of Manners, Practical Tips, and Spiritual Advice for the Upwardly Mobile and made some special friends to make you even more special. Maybe Muffy can invite you over to her country house to meet her single brother.

5. Go back to school

One Ivy League mom regrets not being friendlier to her law school classmates. She took law school too seriously and had a negative attitude as she competed against her classmates for the top of the class. She should have been a little more positive and made more friends in law school. Grad school is another opportunity to network. You should try to get your MRS in grad school, a second chance, if you will.

6. All is not lost– It ain’t over till it’s over!

We know men, and they are indecisive. Have you really lost that guy you had been dating? Keep on living your best life– hang out with your friends, go to the gym, join clubs, do whatever it is that makes you happy. Who knows? He might be back one day. The question is, would you want him back? Of course, you want what everyone has, an everlasting happy marriage. Therefore, keep on looking for the one. But, always be on good terms with a few exes, because hey, you never know!

Lessons Learned from Divorced Moms

The Ivy League Moms Book Club got together the other day and the conversation came to divorce. Several members are divorced or separated. We wanted to come up with some lessons learned for our college-aged single daughters. Here is the list we came up with:

Divorce is never easy, especially when children are involved. Therefore, before you decide that he’s the one, ponder the following lessons learned from other people’s divorces.

1. Do Not Attend the Wrong College

If you are looking for a husband while in college, be aware of the man to woman ratio if you are a woman interested in marrying a man. Colleges such as the Fashion Institute of Technology, with about an 80 percent female student body, is not optimal for looking for a husband. What makes the odds even more against FIT ladies is that it is located in Manhattan, one of the most competitive areas for women looking for men.

2. Don’t wait too long

Do not assume that you are too young to be married when you are in your early twenties. Don’t date someone starting from your early twenties and not get married until your mid-thirties. You are giving the guy an entire decade of your fertility window without him making a commitment. Your youth is worth more than anything, so dump him and move on if he won’t commit by year five.

3. Watch how he treats others

When you are young and beautiful, you are worth something to him, whether it’s your body for childbearing or other physical activities. He will be nice to you to keep you. If other people tell you things like “it’s not too late to back out”, perhaps that’s how he will treat you when he’s tired of you.

4. Do not waste time if he’s married or otherwise taken

Please, have enough respect for yourself and other women and stay away from someone who already has his own family. Plenty of single and available men out there and you deserve a family of your own.

5. Children are a blessing

If you have children with a man and later you wind up divorced, that does not mean that you did something wrong. In fact, the children are the best treasures to come out of the relationship. You are not young forever, and you get what you get and don’t complain.

6. Make sure you are compatible before you spend too much time in the relationship

If you think a few minutes answering compatibility questions is too much, then imagine how many hours you will waste on a bad date or years that you could be spending with someone who is better for you.

7. Always have your own money

Develop skills to earn your own money. If you have writing skills, see if you can write novels on Amazon or start a blog. Make YouTube videos. Nowadays, employers allow you to work from home. Invest family money and keep it aside. You don’t have to share all your money, especially since inheritance is separate property in case of a divorce. Having your own money enhances the relationship, because you can buy the groceries, take him out to dinner and buy him gifts; love is give and take. Also, if the relationship fails, you have the option to leave.

8. Don’t waste time with hookup sites if your goal is marriage

One lady who was separated spent a lot of time on hookup sites because she would get lots of attention from men. But quantity does not mean quality. She got upset because a few gentleman who took her out to dinner never called her back. She complained to her therapist that even though the conversations with these men from the serious dating sites were ok she thought, they did not call. However, the men at the hookup sites would always call her back. The therapist said, “It’s because the hookup guys want sex! If the conversation with the serious men did not flow, then why waste time? You can’t tell until you meet. These men were willing to take the time to know you, but it didn’t work out. However, it’s a numbers game, so keep on trying.”